Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
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Shhhhh...
Did you hear that?
Chuck did.
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Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
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