Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
Shhhhh... Did you hear that? Chuck did.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.