Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water. The result is now sold as Red Bull.
Chuck Norris eats lightning and shits out thunder.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.