Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley.
We know it today as Death Valley.
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Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
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The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
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Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
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God said let there be light.
Chuck Norris said say please.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
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