Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
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Chuck Norris is standing right behind you when you're reading this.
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Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
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The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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Global warming is the result of Chuck Norris getting mad.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.
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