Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
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When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
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