Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times.
He used a parachute twice.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
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Chuck Norris can speak braille.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
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