The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
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