The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
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All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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