A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons.
Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.
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Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
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