Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris?
A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
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Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
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If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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