Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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They say if u talk shit about Chuck Norris he will slam ur face into the keyboard but he's to dumb to find me jdjdjddjdjfbfnfmapoibrndskdhsnjsjrrjwiaokdbdjaaksjdbjs this is Chuck Norris let that be a lesson.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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