Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
Chuck Norris' guitar amp goes up to 12.
The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key. Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.