In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.