In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.