In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Why does Chuck Norris have a beard?
A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
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The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris.
Once.
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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