In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
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The supreme court issued a ban not allowing Chuck Norris to flex his muscles, for fear of public safety.
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Chuck Norris found the 51st shade of gray.
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Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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