In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris CAN have it both ways.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.