Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
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Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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Chuck Norris dosen't get lost...
Everything around him is in the wrong place!
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Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
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