Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
If there's something strange... In your neighborhood... Who ya gonna call?... CHUCK NORRIS!
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!