Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman.
And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
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Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
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