Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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Wagner is really Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil.
It couldn't keep up.
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Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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