Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart?
A: Chuck Norris' fist
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Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
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Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
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Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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