Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
Chuck Norris lives in a all white house with all white furniture and all white carpet. Why? Dirt knows better.
Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!