Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
Ever.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
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Chuck Norris can make love to a girl so hard and fast it inspired a reality tv series.
We know it as Forged in the fire.
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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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