When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
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Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
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Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
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In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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