Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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Chuck Norris got a flame and froze it.
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
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Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
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In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size.
When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
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They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can.
It's not much of a fight....
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