Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley.
We know it today as Death Valley.
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Chuck Norris can play a PS3 with a Super Nintendo controller, and it works!
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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