Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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Chuck Norris won more Olympic medals than the hole world...
Including himself.
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Kings buy Chuck Norris size beds.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much.
Chuck Norris throws down!
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris...
Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
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