Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris can set water on fire. He can also set fire on water.
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.