Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
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Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
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Chuck Norris isn't on Earth, the Earth is on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics.
In the same event. From home.
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The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris.
It failed.
Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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We have a week dedicated to sharks... sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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