Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
Chuck Norris has a lot to contribute to the Third World... War.
Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.