The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?"
Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
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A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself.
Now he has provoked the event 2012.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris CAN play on broken strings.
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Someone tried to stab Chuck Norris in the stomach, and the knife bent on his rock-hard abs.
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