Joke #8274

The Universe is not expanding. It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
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When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
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Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
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Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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