The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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Chuck Norris doesn't expect the unexpected.
He knows the unexpected.
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears.
There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
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The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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