The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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Similar jokes
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.
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In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
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Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
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Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same.
Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
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Chuck Norris is like an F5 Tornado...
When you see him coming you better run for cover and pray to God he doesn't find you...
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Film makers are smart enough NOT to make a Chuck Norris movie in 3D.
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Chuch Norris filmed the making of the first camera.
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