The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...
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Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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Chuck Norris can rotate text in MS Paint.
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Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon.
After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon.
It was a tough choice...
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