The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia?
2 months...
How does he get there?
He walks.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
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