The Universe is not expanding.
It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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Once Chuck Norris met a man on a horse that he did'nt like, now we know him as the headless horseman.
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Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
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If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn...
Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
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The dinosaurs aren't extinct.
They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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Chuck Norris designed and created two series of cars.
These are now known as Autobots and Decepticons.
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When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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