The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was to send in Chuck Norris. We decided to go the humane route.
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
Love does not conquer all. Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon. After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon. It was a tough choice...
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.