The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was to send in Chuck Norris. We decided to go the humane route.
Do you know why babys cry when they are born? Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
Note to self: Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite. Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.