Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions".
He has no time for losers.
He will rock you.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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