Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?"
It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
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