Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
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Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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If Chuck Norris was here in the Philippines, there would be no hostage crisis.
He eats hostage-takers for breakfast!
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Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard?
He didn't, his beard grew him.
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Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
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Hurricanes are really just Chuck Norris breathing into the rain.
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