Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris once shaved his beard. People now call it Bigfoot.
Chuck Norris can braid a bald head.
Chuck Norris caught them all with one PokeBall.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.