Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
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Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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