Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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You cannot escape the power of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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When Chuck Norris talks, people listen.
When he doesn't, people still listen.
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There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is...
Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
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