Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
Chuck Norris can get a Pepsi out of a Coke machine.
In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.