Chuck Norris can hear the sound of one hand clapping.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays. Happy Chuckday everyone!
Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
Chuck Norris can hear pictures.