Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
Chuck Norris can stop the music.
The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.