Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
Once the A-Team used to take care of the bad guys. Then came Chuck Norris. Ever since, the A-Team has been known as the Ghostbusters.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
Chuck Norris can win a game of scrabble using only numbers.
Chuck Norris can split the atom. With his bare hands.