Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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Chuck Norris's motorcycle has 4WD.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.
He simply decides what time it is.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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Chuck Norris is an action verb.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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