The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Chuck Norris boils an egg by holding it.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
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One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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