The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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When Chuck Norris got his first sling-shot, he created what we now know today as the "Moon", "Mars", "Jupitar", "Saturn" and "Pluto"
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Chuck Norris once drank a Red Bull and the can grew wings.
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The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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