Joke #8484

A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!" His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."

Doctor doctor I feel that Im a pack of card. What can I do ? Doctor: I deal with you later.

Why don’t all the managers go into holiday at once? So people can’t see that the company works without them..

A senior Catholic Priest in Kenya was dying in a hospital and for his death wish he asked to see the local MP and the county Governor. Within hours, the two arrived. He asked them to sit on either side of the bed. The priest held their hands and kept quiet. The politicians were so touched and at the same time felt very important for being summoned by a senior and well respected priest in his dying moment. Out of anxiety, the Governor asked, 'But why did ask for me and Mheshimiwa?' The priest gathered all his strength and held their hands even tighter. Then with his eyes still closed, he mumbled 'Jesus died between two thieves. My only wish is to die the same way.' Minutes later as the silence enveloped the hospital room, the priest took his last breath.

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was Made in China.

We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies. We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.

Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.

Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow.

"Knock Knock?" "Who's there?" "Europe." "Europe who?" "No you're a poo."

What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

An archaeologist in Egypt was taking a walk in the town square one morning. He had to get back to the hotel for a meeting but had forgotten his wristwatch. He was walking by an old man sitting on a low stool by his camel and asked if he knew the time. The old man slowly reached over and pushed the camel's testicles to one side and then released them, letting them swing to a stop. "10:27" he said. The archaeologist was stunned as he had never seen someone tell time like that before. He rushed back to the hotel to find his colleagues and then brought them back to the town square to find the old man. Having found him again, the archaeologist said, "I will give you this $50 bill if you'll show me how you tell time. The old man pocketed the $50 bill and said, "OK, kneel down here with me and put your head close to mine. Now swing the camel's testicles out of the way. Now, can you see the clock on that building over there?"