Joke #8484

A diner complained, "Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!" His waiter replied, "That's entirely possible; our cook used to be a tailor."
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
Vote:
has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
Vote:
has 79.85 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, life, pirate
A: How do children in Baghdad do? A: Bombastically.
Vote:
has 26.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, kids, life, war
How do elves greet each other? "Small world, isn't it?"
Vote:
has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: elf, life
One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual. It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her. "Yes. And my idiot husband went fishing!" she replied.
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry Ive got you covered!
Vote:
has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire? Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.
Vote:
has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired a person for the job. Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning position and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, GS-12 and one person to do time studies, GS-1. Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Q. C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports. Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, GS-09, and a payroll officer, GS-11, and hired two people. Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative position and hired three people, an Admin. Officer GM-13, Assistant Admin. Officer GS-12, and a Legal Secretary GS-08. Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $280,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they laid off the night watchman.
Vote:
has 84.27 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: life
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
Vote:
has 76.51 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
Vote:
has 27.58 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, science, time