Chuck Norris is standing right behind you when you're reading this.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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Chuck Norris favorite pick up line: ''now''
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Chuck Norris walks up his staircase to get to the basement.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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