Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back. Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.