Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Nice guys finish last because bad guys run faster from Chuck Norris.
While we all get checked by the airport security, Chuck checks the airport security.
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons. None of it is his own.
Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.