Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same. Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.