Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
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Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
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Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs.
This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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