Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
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An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
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