Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in Chuck Norris.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.