If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you.
On facebook!
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris built Rome with a box of scraps.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
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