If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
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When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
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When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
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Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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