Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.