An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first?
The apple because the rope catches the black person.
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Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right roasting.
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Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
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What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The dashboard.
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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ?
A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
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Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.
"I’m sorry," said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks."
"But I could be dead by then!"
"No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment."
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag?
1 dead baby in 10 bags.
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Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.
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