An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first?
The apple because the rope catches the black person.
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Two clones are on a roof.
One clone pushes the other clone off.
The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
I'm Mr, Farter.
Mr, Farter who?
I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
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Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
A: There are twenty of them.
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Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces.
So too has his boot.
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These two guys are riding in a convertible down a road in the desert, the road runs alongside a railroad as they are driving, as they are driving a train goes past, on the train a guy is on the train, clutching his stomach and grunting, his buddy leans over, and asks him,
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
The guy replies, "I gotta shit real bad, and I can't reach the bathroom in time!"
His buddy tells him "Hang your ass out the window, and let it fly."
The guy hangs his ass out the window and the shi t flies back and hits the convertible.
The guys in the convertible say "Damn, that guy on the train spit tobacco on us!"
The guy asks his friend "Hey, pull over when the train stops and we'll find this guy and kick his ass".
After he finishes talking the guy driving the car slows down.
His friend says "Why are you slowing down, don't you wanna beat this guy up."
His friend says "No!"
The other guy says "Why".
His friend says, "Number one, that is some of the stinkiest tobacco I've ever smelled, and number two, did you see the jaws on that son of a bitch!"
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I was a little taken aback when I got my receipt from the funeral parlor, on the bottom of the receipt, after the bill, it read, "Thank you. Please come again."
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Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family.
"I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one.
"That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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Joke has 71.64 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes?
A: The execution.
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Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles?
A: Because his wife died.
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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