An apple and a black person both fall off a tree at the exact same time who hits the ground first?
The apple because the rope catches the black person.
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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic, and dangerous to children.
You put groceries in the other.
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Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick, "What school?"
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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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What happens if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water.
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I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade.
Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A baby playing in a plastic bag.
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A school in the United States is on fire.
One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them.
After half of an hour the upper fireman asks:
Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids?
Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
I'm Mr, Farter.
Mr, Farter who?
I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
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Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide?
He got himself into a real stew.
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