Whats faster than a black person stealing your car?
Him driving away in it.
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Saw this bumper sticker in L.A. - "I'm not drunk, I'm Asian"
When a white person delivers an asian baby.
White person: "Congratulations he looks like your husband... mom... cousin... uncle... neighbor..."
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What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?
Unemployed.
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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There are 4 guys in a car, 1 from Iowa,1 from Wisconsin, 1 from Florida, and 1 from Illinois.
The guy from Florida says "I’m tired of seeing oranges everyday" so he throws some oranges out the window.
So then the guy from Iowa says "I’m tired of seeing Corn everyday" so he throws some corn out the window.
The guy from Wisconsin is very inspired so he opens the door and pushs the guy from Illinois out of the car!
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American."
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.
"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."
Q: What happens when you put your hand in a bag of jelly beans?
A: The black one takes your watch.
How do they name Chinese baby's?
They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.