Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Avatar's were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a smurf.
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Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
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Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.
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Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chuck Norris came first.
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4.
He can now multi task and use face time.
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