Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
The Holy Grail is in Chuck Norris's living room.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
There is no such things as a tornado. Just Chuck Norris proving that ballet ain't that hard.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.