Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
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A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people.
It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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Chuck Norris fell down the stairs and broke somebody elses leg.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
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Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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