Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard... They were never seen again.
Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.