Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
Remember the Leia scene from The Last Jedi? That wasn't the force, it was Chuck Norris resurrecting Carrie Fischer.
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
In Radiant Spirits, Solari's body temprature is 120 degrees. Chuck Norris's body temprature is about 151 degrees.
Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.