The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
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Moses did not part the sea.
Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
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Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
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Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
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