Chuck Norris can shoot around a corner.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."