Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph. Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.