Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
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Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
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You know the movie, Alien VS Predator?
Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
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Chuck Norris once joined the Army.
That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
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After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
It was more "humane".
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Chuck Norris is the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
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Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
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Chuck Norris eats blackholes as light snacks.
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That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
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