Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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