Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
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The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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