Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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CNN tells about every disaster around the world.
CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
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The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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