Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
After Chuck Norris created Jazz he decided to do a bit of scat, today we refer to his song as the alphabet.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
The Swiss army uses a Chuck Norris knife.