Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Some people wear Superman pajamas.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS.
Chuck Norris decides where he is.
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
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Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas.
They made a deal.
Chuck now owns the shop.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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