Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes.
Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Bruce Springsteen calls Chuck Norris 'The Boss'.
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Dante's Inferno is based on a Nature Walk Chuck Norris once took.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris can Do Mental Math on Paper.
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