Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
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July 4th is Independence day.
And the day Chuck Norris was born.
Coincidence? I think not.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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Chuck Norris once caught the Ebola virus, it's been on the run ever since.
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Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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Chuck Norris dosent swim, water just likes him.
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Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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