Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil.
It couldn't keep up.
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The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris.
There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
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If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor.
Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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