Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common?
A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
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Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child.
The bed went itself out of fear.
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Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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Chuck Norris has 12 moons.
One of those moons is the Earth.
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Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
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Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
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