Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."