Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
Chuck Norris can access the DB from the UI.