Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
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Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute.
The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
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Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
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Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed.
Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
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