Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can deliver a roundhouse kick in full 1080p, remember that the next time you watch Walker Texas Ranger in Blu-Ray.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad.
Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares. Actually he can also blow your face.
Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.