Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
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Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris wins Clue in one guess.
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Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean.
The tsunamis were killing people.
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Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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