Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Two halves make a whole.
Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
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Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
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