Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine. We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.