Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
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Chuck Norris won gold for sitting in the crowd at the olympics.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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The Tower of Pisa was in Chuck Norris' way.
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Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
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