Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board. It is now known as titanic