Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child.
The bed went itself out of fear.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
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When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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Motley Crue released a new song called "Roundhouse Kickstart My Heart" dedicated to Chuck Norris.
It will be number one in the top 40 forever.
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.
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911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
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Chuck Norris's tears can cure every type of cancer, the only problem is he never cried.
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