Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
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Chuck Norris uses flatbed trailers as roller skates.
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Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
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Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado.
Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
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Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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