Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.