Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
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When Chuck Norris enters a sauna the sauna starts sweating.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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