Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by...Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
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How far can you spit.
Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.
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2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world.
The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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