The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.