Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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What do you spell if you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris's name.
Nothing, because you can't mess with Chuck Norris.
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E=mc squared.
E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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"Walker Texas Ranger: The Movie 3-D" was considered by Warner Brothers; however the technology to create the visual effects will never be possible.
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Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil.
It couldn't keep up.
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It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
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Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
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