Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
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Chuck Norris doesn't daydream.
He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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