Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
The Titanic didn't sink by an ice burg, Chuck Norris was doing the back stroke across the Atlantic.
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
When Chuck Norris enters a sauna the sauna starts sweating.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.