Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Charlie Sheen winning?
Chuck Norris says "I think not."
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Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Most leading hand sanitizers say that they can kil 99.99% of all germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100% of WHATEVER HE WANTS.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is fast that he stopped the Flash.
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