Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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Chuck Norris haunts ghosts.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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A meteor did not kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
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Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
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Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard...
They were never seen again.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
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If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor.
Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
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Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
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