Chuck Norris said "come on" and "on" came.
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The Tower of Pisa was in Chuck Norris' way.
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Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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Santa delivers to Chuck Norris' house first.
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Why did we have a global recession?
Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
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Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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