Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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All men are created equal.
Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
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Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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