Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
The Tower of Pisa was in Chuck Norris' way.