The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter.
To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
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When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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Death once got sentenced to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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