The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
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Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
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Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
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Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris terrorizes terrorism.
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Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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