The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers.
He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
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Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
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Chuck Norris invented black.
In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.
Except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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How far can you spit.
Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.
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